Tact and Diplomacy
Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
My son William had the standard vocabulary: “Dada,” “Mama,” and even “Book!” (He always exclaimed that last word). But he’d also learned some other words. Being exactly one year old, William was toddling around the house unsurely and blabbering gibberish. The electrician was finally there to fix the outlet in our bathroom. He was a large man, muscular, for sure, but with an enormous belly, about which he seemed not the least self-conscious — he actually played with his belly button a little when he first examined the outlet. As the electrician began drilling away, I was on baby patrol, following my son William around the house and keeping him from tipping over stools and chairs, or standing with both feet in the dog’s water dish, a favorite pastime of his. I followed William to the bathroom door, and when he saw the electrician in there for the first time he let out a delighted giggle. The electrician ceased running his electric screwdriver and turned. “Hi little fella!” he said warmly. William pointed at the electrician. “Fat!” he announced. Standing behind William, I laughed nervously. “He loves the kitty,” I said. “Won’t stop saying ‘cat.’” The electrician smiled, unconvinced. “That what he said?” “Fat!” announced William again, jabbing his finger toward the electrician. “Okay baby, okay,” I said, picking up William and carrying him away from the door. “Fat fat fat fat!” he called as I carried him into the kitchen, out of the electrician’s hearing. A half hour later the electrician was all packed up, and passing through the kitchen, he said, “We’ll send you the bill.” Then he stopped. “You guys even own a cat?” I shook my head, and he laughed. ~Ron Kaiser, Jr.